going strong

Three days and complete happiness. Thank you prayer warriors, kind words from thoughtful friends, and not judging me. Thank you Jesus for the power to overcome this funk I was in. I know through ceaseless praying and focusing on all the positive things in my life I will be myself in no time at all. Today is yet another snow day. We were out of snow days up here in this wintry northern climate. Which means the kiddos get one more day tacked on to complete the required school days. One summer day lost. Bummer. I guess my memory is clouded with June weather in Texas because my friends tell me it will be okay cuz it's not even that warm yet in June. Are you kidding me??? :) Alright, I'll regress. The kiddos can stay in school one more day. We finally got a decent amount of snow, as you probably figured out since we have a "snow day". We have been taking advantage of all sorts of snowy fun such as sledding until the cold snow goes up our back. Multiple times. Building snowmen. Eating white snow (have to remind Kylie of this seeing we have a puppy now). I hope to maybe make a fort today or spray the snow multiple colors with colored water. OR both. Who knows. Whatever we do it will be fun. Thank you Lord for this extra day to snuggle, bake, giggle, and play with my kiddos while school is definetly not in session.

coffee date

Taken a cue from a blogger that I follow  I have decided to have a virtual coffee date with the handful of friends who read here.

If we were to have coffee I would offer you a variety of flavors that I have on hand for my new Keurig I got for Christmas.  I must say that being the only coffee drinker in my household it is perfect and I don't waste a single drop anymore.  

And we would most likely talk about the weather and how bitter cold it and how we hardly have any snow and how much we are looking forward to some springlike weather and some flowers bursting up through the ground....in about 6-8 weeks.  Until then we will hibernate some more.

And when the weather talk would end I would probably open my heart up a bit and get a bit honest.  I would let you in on how my heart aches for my former life and how many times I have had to hold in the tears as my children talk about how much they too miss specific parts of their Texas life. I would tell you the things which are so much easier to write then to say out loud.

I would tell you much much I miss the busy-ness of my life in Texas.  How much my heart aches for my wonderful Texas friends, how much my soul cries out to find a church that was like CrossPoint. One that is filled to the brim with love for the Lord.  When I was a member there I never once feared that my children would stray from the Lord.  I knew they would grow up with a wonderful group of Christian friends who shared their Love for Christ.  They would always be together and experience their childhood with these same friends and have a strong bond with the older teens.  My kiddos went to an amazing school that was involved with the children and one where the parents were heavily involved.  There were so many opportunities for our children.  And for us.  
And now we live in this town where I question every single day as to why we were brought back here and what purpose do we have in this town?  Were we being led by Satan or by God.  I worry constantly about my children and pray constantly that they leave this town, go to college, and make something of themselves.  And I pray without ceasing that somehow they always have the love of God in their hearts and that they lead a life that would be pleasing to Him.  Because right now, right here, I fear that in the coming years church is going to be boring to them.  Church will not get them excited.  Why would it when they are the only children there?  When no one wants to step out of the small box they are contained in to bring in some new fresh ideas?  Why would they when even us, Danny and I, are not getting our "tanks filled up"?  And it is so hard to look for a church that follows what the bible says and provides for the adults and for the children.  Oh how I miss CrossPoint.


If we were sitting down over coffee right now, I would ask you to pray with me for my heart to settle. To find contentment. And to discern the Lord’s leading. 

If we were having coffee together this morning, after that heavy moment, I’d probably point out something silly like how I really need to take down Kylie's streamers from her birthday and how I need to start weaning Drew off his pacifier and how I can't find Hannah's ballet slippers even though she has dance class tonight.

I'd also want to tell you how I am trying to decide between going back to Honduras this summer or sending my kiddos to Michigan Christian Youth Camp (MCYC) as the two overlap each other.  Each other tugs at my heart so incredibly much that I cannot decide.  Honduras is forever in my heart and I have big dreams of future involvement in Campamento that includes my whole family.  However, MCYC holds many memories for me as a child and I would love my children to experience them as well.  But are they old enough?  Maybe Hannah but I am not sure about Kylie.  So I go 'round and around with it.  At this point I would ask you to please pray for me to seek out what God desires of me and my children and to listen.


At some point in our coffee date, it would probably come up that I’ve  been wanting to start running and attempt a half marathon with my sister-in-law Autumn in May.  And I would laugh because it has been way too icy and cold to even think about running.  On the upside, it should be getting to be spring soon so hopefully it will warm up a bit for me to at least jog a bit to start training.

If we are still sipping our coffee or on our second cup I would want to stop talking and start listening because that I am better at that.  

Well, I hope you enjoyed our virtual coffee date.  It felt good to open my heart up and spill out some things that have been weighing heavily on it.  I know this life will not always be sunshine and roses and that some days will indeed have some gloomy clouds with a bit of thunder but I pray earnestly that I listen to God I would tell you what I know – that Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” And I believe it. I believe that the Lord will actually assign desires to my heart, and then fulfill those desires He has given to me.  And that this life will start to make sense.

Thank you my friends for this lovely coffee date.

girl on fire

Did you leave church yesterday on fire for Christ?  Were you uplifted, encouraged, empowered with Christ's love so much that you wanted to shout it from the rooftops?  I love the praise and worship portion of church.  I love to sing my heart out to God.  To praise His name and proclaim my love for Him through songs.  Songs that speak of my personal relationship with Him.  Songs that make my heart ache for Him and songs that pierce me through and through.  This is what I crave.  I want God to hear the whole church singing with all their heart, soul, and breath.  I want us to bring the house down.  I want us to be on fire for Christ.  Sadly, I don't have that fire anymore.  I don't sing like that anymore.  Maybe it's the song choice.  Maybe it's the atmosphere that is so different.  But that fire.  It's not there.  It's not even close to being there.  And I don't like that.  I don't feel the energy, the love, the soul-shaking singing.  And I know it's not for me to benefit from.  But look at the flipside.  Is God satisfied with the ho-hum singing we are presenting Him?  The songs that lack emotion?  Energy?  The songs that sound more mournful and sad then love and praise?  I know every person is different in how they worship:  some benefit more from the singing, some from the lesson, some from just the fellowship of being there with fellow Christians.  But my biggest concern right now is the atmosphere and the attitude we bring to Christ on Sunday.  I want every Sunday to be one where I leave with my heart full of love and encouragement with a big ol' smile on my face because I know that I gave my all to God that day by singing songs that are personal and uplifting and full of life and a lesson that I can take with me all week long.  If that is not how you feel leaving the building, something needs to change.

"We Will Worship The Lamb of Glory"

"With our hands lifted high to the sky

  And the world wonders why

  We'll just tell them we're loving our King".

I'm in a rut. I'm unmotivated.  I'm lazy.  I'm not feeling creative. And I just don't care.  I feel like giving up.  On something.  On everything.  I don't feel inspired by anything.  I see the pretty trees.  I know I would love to get some beautiful shots of them.  Of my kids.  Of the water.  Of the sky.  Do I?  No.  I don't.  I forced myself to take the kids to the woods yesterday after school.  We were there a total of fifteen minutes.  I was done.  I was over it.  My middle child was crying and screaming as we trudged our way back to the van.  It was not a pleasant experience.  She was overtired.  Drew was tired.  Hannah was hungry.  I was exhausted. From doing nothing.  It was not the outings I remember from a few months back.  I am content staying at home in my p.j.'s all day long.  I am content watching t.v., playing with the kiddos, watching the kiddos play, and surfing the internet.  Looking at everybody's life and all that they are doing and comparing it to my own dull, uneventful life.  There is just nothing to do.  I am home all day with my kids and the kiddos I babysit for which I like doing.  But there are no fun kid activities I can take them to.  No one to meet up with for a playdate.  Danny works all the time.  And I'm just not interested in doing anything.  I miss Texas.  I miss my Texas friends like crazy.  I miss being me.  Being upbeat, motivated, energy-filled, happy, laughing.  Lately, I've been tired and cranky.  I told Danny my body desperately misses all the Vitamin D Texas supplied me with.  It's been gloomy, cloudy, and rainy here lately.  I just miss my old life.  My life that was filled with playdates, church activities, outings, and fun.  I know it will get better.  It has too.  But for now, I'm sulking.  I'm bored.  I'm lazy.  And I'm very much unmotivated.  Pray for me my friends.

Rambling About Life

Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote.  Who has the time??  We did move to Michigan.  It just seemed like God was wanting us back here to do HIS work so I am pulling on my big girl pants and getting myself uncomfortable.  Why uncomfortable?  Because I need to stop having other people spread the good news for myself and start doing it myself.  For others.  For Him.  I believe with all my heart and soul that God led us to Texas for many, many reasons.  And I won't bore you with all the reasons but I will share with you a couple. First off, to help Danny achieve his dream of being a Police Officer and helping those who need him the most.  Second off, to give Danny and I the strength, the faith, the love we need to spread to others.  I know we grew by miles spiritually and it was a great blessing to be a part of the CrossPoint Family.  They were truly our mentors and our family.  They have so much love to give and we learned  a lot about God through them.  So thank you CrossPoint!
So, here we are back in Michigan and I won't lie.  I hated it at first.  I wanted to still be in Texas.  Still live that adventure.  Enjoy that weather.  That warm, warm weather.  But I must admit:  it is soo good to be back.  I didn't realize how much I missed this old place.  The people, the community, the beauty this town has to offer.  It would be hard to leave now.  Craziness.  Did I just write that??  Wow.  I really do love this small town.  And I have joined MOPS where I am getting to know new Moms, making new friends, rekindling old friendships.  I have high hopes.
Hannah started ballet and she is doing great in it.  It is a mix of returning students and new students so my little perfectionist gets upset and frustrated when she is not as graceful as the older students.  Oh boy.  How do I break it to her that she never has been that graceful?  Hehee  Kylie starts preschool (finally!) Monday.  She is excited but in true Kylie fashion, thinks I am staying with her.  Whoops.  Did I not tell her that Mommy goes home without her?  Tomorrow will be interesting.
I am babysitting for my good friend while she subs at Hannah's school.  An almost two year old and a four year old.  Never a dull moment around here!
Well, I have rambled long enough.  Life is good.  Getting better every day.  The leaves are breathing taking and I am excited for a photo shoot out in the woods.  We had frost today.  The girls thought the grass was sparkly.  I don't share their enthusiasm.  Guess I better buy a winter coat!

confusing times

My great friend who I adore stated today that "Our God is not a God of confusion".  How true that is.  It is our own selfish desires, our own "what ifs", and our own motives that get in the way of His Way.  


My family has a huge life changing decision that is weighing on us heavily. We have an opportunity to be able to move closer to family, back to Michigan.  However, I am torn.  Things aren't that great here, financially wise.  We haven't had health insurance for the last four years.  Danny has not received a pay raise since he first started on the department four years ago.  And as it stands today won't be for at least two to three years.  They top out at ten years.  That would be *maybe three years of possible pay raises.   And I keep repeating to myself:  Isn't God enough?  Shouldn't we trust in Him to provide?  
We came to Texas for Danny to pursue his dream job and to find a wonderful loving supportive church and for more oppurtunites for our children.  We found all of the above.  We have been so incredibly blessed with an awesome church family.  I love all of them sooo much!!!!  We have a close young family group who we do quite a few things with, a wonderful youth group, and many, many friends.  I have been able to pursue my dream and go to Honduras this past March and I am forever grateful for that opportunity.  I love the little town we stayed at and will forever hold those life changing memories in my heart.  I can't wait to go back and love on the people again.  
But yet, Michigan comes into play.  Should we go?  The job comes with pay raises, health insurance, closer to family, and lower living expenses.  We lose an awesome church family and our children lose their closest friends and their youth group.  The church we would be attending will be very, very small with no young families, not very many children, etc.  It is a small town which I would look forward to, in some ways.  Life would be different there that is for sure.  Where we go to splash parks, water parks, zoos, malls, amusement parks,  museums, ball games, etc here in Texas,  we would be going for walks, bike rides, parks, the beach, boating, fishing, hunting, etc in Michigan.  
Our life here is very much church-focused.  We are very involved in our church and the youth groups and I crave that.  Always have.  I am very afraid we will lose that.  We will lose our passion.  We will lose our focus.   Yes, we gain health insurance and closer to family.  But is it worth it?  Shouldn't God be enough?  Shouldn't we trust in Him to provide?  Shouldn't we trust our hearts enough to tell us the answer?  I am so confused.  Please pray for our family.

Having A Yard Sale...Let The Good Times Roll!!


Find arlington yard sales on Yard Sale Search

six precious years

for your viewing pleasure

wordless wednesday

Four!

Four Year Old:

 Bliss

Excitement:

Uncertainty

Confidence

Happiness

Fa La La La La.............

Little bit late but here it is:  Christmas!  I finally found some me time (which quickly turned into me + two little girls with opinions) to download the pictures from the camera.  So here ya go, our 2011 Christmas. 
It was a wonderful Christmas even though it was just the five of us (5 of us!  ~Love It).  We were leaving for Michigan on Dec. 15 so we celebrated a bit early and had just a teeny tiny little tree.  And no outside lights.  I made up for it though by putting twinkling lights into the girls bedroom.  It addes some Christmas magic to our home.   I put a few little snowmen and hung a wreath on our door.  Just enough Christmas cheer to spruce up our home and not cause me a lot of clean up for when I got back. 

Anyhoo, here are a few pictures of our TX Christmas:


Here is Hannah and Kylie in the jammies that Daddy picked out for them.  Good job Daddy!

Hannah's new game:  Guess Who!  We love to play this!

Best toy yet!  Barbie News Reporter.  They have a ton of fun with this and really get creative with their "news reports"!

Boxes are still a Huge Hit around here.

Drew just chillin' watching the commotion.

Mommy and Kylie snugglin'.

And the all important LaLaLoopsy Silly Hair Doll.

It was Merry.  Cozy.  Lovely.  And so worth it to do it early cuz there was no way I was hauling all those presents to Michigan. 

Hope your holidays were just as jolly!

Happy 4th Birthday Kylie!

Dear Kylie,

Words cannot even begin to express all the love I have for you.  You are such a little lady these days

 and I am so proud of you!  Four years ago God blessed me with you:  a sweet, persistant, funny little

 girl who has brought many smiles and giggles into my life.  You are truly your own little person.

 You love to snuggle, be it with me or Daddy or one of your many little stuffed animals or dollies.

  You are truly a lover of animals.  You don't meet a dog or kitty that you don't want to smother with

your cuddles and love.  Daddy and I are sure you are going to be a veteranian when you grow up! 

Although you constantly tell me you are going to be a Mommy.  You make me laugh so much!  You

are always coming up with the cutest little phrases that you repeat over and over.  "I better...", or

"These....are ooey gooey..."....You crack me up kid!  I pray daily that you continue to find happiness

 in every situation and that you always have faith in God and that you continue your relationship with

 Him and that you will be a woman of God when you grow up.  You love God and love to go to

 church......heck, you even wanted to name your baby brother Baby Jesus!  I pray that I will continue

 to be the example I need to be for you and that our Mother-Daughter relationship continues to grow

and flourish.  I love you sweet Baby Ky-Ky....My Big 4 year old!!

Love,

Mommy

big

My baby girl is just on the brink of turning six.  Even writing that tears me up.  Wow has she ever changed my life.  And sometimes changes are scary.  But sometimes they are wonderful, lovely, exciting, and exhilerating.  Today?  Things are scary and Hannah tells you why. 

sometimes

Sometimes Drew will play and play and play. 

And his Big "Little" Sister?  Ya.  She loves him.  And will hug him.  And kiss him.  And play with him.

But sometimes.  Or maybe only once.  So far.  Has this sweet chubby little boy falls asleep.  While playing.  With no fussing.  Or letting on that he is indeed Tired. 

Pure sweetness.

who knew?

who knew that this little guy

would absolutely

melt.my.heart.

and that this little girl

would make me laugh

like no one else.

and that this "big" little girl

would brighten up my day

with one of her famous smiles.

who knew that my heart

could hold so much love

that somedays it feels like its going to explode

for these three children God has blessed me with?

just another silly sunday

my kids have great imaginations

I am not sure what they were actually playing but they were definetly in their own little world

having fun.

its all about love

My days are filled with toothless grins, cheeky smiles, giggles,



 diaper changes, outfit debates, tickle fights, swinging, stick fighting,



 treasure hunting, and much, much more!



And I wouldn't have it any other way.



 God has blessed me with three amazing, big hearted, lovable children.



And I couldn't imagine life without them. 



To know that it is Danny's and I's whole responsibility to raise them is sometimes



overwhelming and confusing but I know with God's instructions we are doing Him proud!




And I couldn't do it without my loving, good natured, responsible husband.



  I love him to bits also!

yummy things i hope to make this week

Chicken Fried Chicken

Fiesta Chili Dogs

13-Bean and Sausage Soup in crockpot

Chocolate Chip Marshmallow Bars

Chicken Pot Pie

Grilled Pork Chops