it is well with my soul

Take up your cross and follow me

Take up your cross and follow me



I am repeating this phrase over and over to myself as I pour my heart out tonight.  I am sitting here

sobbing and getting my thoughts out on "paper". 

When Peace Like A River Attendeth My Soul

When Sorrows Like Sea Billows Roar

Whatever My Lot Thou Hast Taught Me To Say

It Is Well, It Is Well With My Soul



You know what is NOT well with my soul?  Having my babies and not having my Grandma being

here to snuggle them and love on them and dote on them.  Not being able to share this wonderful

awesome blessing from God with her.  She was my best friend growing up.  I spent summers with her

 and we would play cards from sun up to sun down.  Swing on her porch.  Go for walks.  Sip iced tea.

 Go to her garden club.  Go to her church with her while sucking on certs.  Snuggling up in her warm

soft arms.  Breathing in her wonderful Grandma smell.  Watching her soaps with her. Being pen pals

 with her.  Watching her study her bible.  Yes, I miss her tremendously.  It is NOT well with my soul

that I got cheated out of having her here with me.  But her?  She got the most awesome award.  Living

 with her Heavenly Father free of pain and worry.  Yes, that IS well with me soul.


Something else that is NOT well with my soul?  Being so far apart from my family.  My blood

family.  I vowed never to move my family across country because I hated that I lived in Michigan and

 my Grandma lived in Ohio.  And what do we do?  We move.  To Texas.  For my husband.  It kills me

 not to have my family around.  My children are growing so fast without their grandmas and grandpas

being close by to savor the little moments.  You know what IS well with my soul?  Having the means

of travel we do:  airplanes and cars.  Its the little things really.  And the time off everyone is willing to

give up to come visit or put aside time for us to visit.  That is really what is important:  making the

most of what you have.  Also...I have a great church family that I absolutely love.  And without them I

 would be truly lost. 



It is well with my soul.....Pick up your cross and follow me.


I am learning that it IS well with my soul.  And I am picking up my cross and following

 Christ...wherever HE leads me. 


And yes, everytime we sing this song at church I tear up (or flat out cry).  Just pass me a tissue and all

will be well.  With my soul.