Thursday, October 18, 2012

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I'm in a rut. I'm unmotivated.  I'm lazy.  I'm not feeling creative. And I just don't care.  I feel like giving up.  On something.  On everything.  I don't feel inspired by anything.  I see the pretty trees.  I know I would love to get some beautiful shots of them.  Of my kids.  Of the water.  Of the sky.  Do I?  No.  I don't.  I forced myself to take the kids to the woods yesterday after school.  We were there a total of fifteen minutes.  I was done.  I was over it.  My middle child was crying and screaming as we trudged our way back to the van.  It was not a pleasant experience.  She was overtired.  Drew was tired.  Hannah was hungry.  I was exhausted. From doing nothing.  It was not the outings I remember from a few months back.  I am content staying at home in my p.j.'s all day long.  I am content watching t.v., playing with the kiddos, watching the kiddos play, and surfing the internet.  Looking at everybody's life and all that they are doing and comparing it to my own dull, uneventful life.  There is just nothing to do.  I am home all day with my kids and the kiddos I babysit for which I like doing.  But there are no fun kid activities I can take them to.  No one to meet up with for a playdate.  Danny works all the time.  And I'm just not interested in doing anything.  I miss Texas.  I miss my Texas friends like crazy.  I miss being me.  Being upbeat, motivated, energy-filled, happy, laughing.  Lately, I've been tired and cranky.  I told Danny my body desperately misses all the Vitamin D Texas supplied me with.  It's been gloomy, cloudy, and rainy here lately.  I just miss my old life.  My life that was filled with playdates, church activities, outings, and fun.  I know it will get better.  It has too.  But for now, I'm sulking.  I'm bored.  I'm lazy.  And I'm very much unmotivated.  Pray for me my friends.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Rambling About Life

Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote.  Who has the time??  We did move to Michigan.  It just seemed like God was wanting us back here to do HIS work so I am pulling on my big girl pants and getting myself uncomfortable.  Why uncomfortable?  Because I need to stop having other people spread the good news for myself and start doing it myself.  For others.  For Him.  I believe with all my heart and soul that God led us to Texas for many, many reasons.  And I won't bore you with all the reasons but I will share with you a couple. First off, to help Danny achieve his dream of being a Police Officer and helping those who need him the most.  Second off, to give Danny and I the strength, the faith, the love we need to spread to others.  I know we grew by miles spiritually and it was a great blessing to be a part of the CrossPoint Family.  They were truly our mentors and our family.  They have so much love to give and we learned  a lot about God through them.  So thank you CrossPoint!
So, here we are back in Michigan and I won't lie.  I hated it at first.  I wanted to still be in Texas.  Still live that adventure.  Enjoy that weather.  That warm, warm weather.  But I must admit:  it is soo good to be back.  I didn't realize how much I missed this old place.  The people, the community, the beauty this town has to offer.  It would be hard to leave now.  Craziness.  Did I just write that??  Wow.  I really do love this small town.  And I have joined MOPS where I am getting to know new Moms, making new friends, rekindling old friendships.  I have high hopes.
Hannah started ballet and she is doing great in it.  It is a mix of returning students and new students so my little perfectionist gets upset and frustrated when she is not as graceful as the older students.  Oh boy.  How do I break it to her that she never has been that graceful?  Hehee  Kylie starts preschool (finally!) Monday.  She is excited but in true Kylie fashion, thinks I am staying with her.  Whoops.  Did I not tell her that Mommy goes home without her?  Tomorrow will be interesting.
I am babysitting for my good friend while she subs at Hannah's school.  An almost two year old and a four year old.  Never a dull moment around here!
Well, I have rambled long enough.  Life is good.  Getting better every day.  The leaves are breathing taking and I am excited for a photo shoot out in the woods.  We had frost today.  The girls thought the grass was sparkly.  I don't share their enthusiasm.  Guess I better buy a winter coat!