I'm in a rut. I'm unmotivated.  I'm lazy.  I'm not feeling creative. And I just don't care.  I feel like giving up.  On something.  On everything.  I don't feel inspired by anything.  I see the pretty trees.  I know I would love to get some beautiful shots of them.  Of my kids.  Of the water.  Of the sky.  Do I?  No.  I don't.  I forced myself to take the kids to the woods yesterday after school.  We were there a total of fifteen minutes.  I was done.  I was over it.  My middle child was crying and screaming as we trudged our way back to the van.  It was not a pleasant experience.  She was overtired.  Drew was tired.  Hannah was hungry.  I was exhausted. From doing nothing.  It was not the outings I remember from a few months back.  I am content staying at home in my p.j.'s all day long.  I am content watching t.v., playing with the kiddos, watching the kiddos play, and surfing the internet.  Looking at everybody's life and all that they are doing and comparing it to my own dull, uneventful life.  There is just nothing to do.  I am home all day with my kids and the kiddos I babysit for which I like doing.  But there are no fun kid activities I can take them to.  No one to meet up with for a playdate.  Danny works all the time.  And I'm just not interested in doing anything.  I miss Texas.  I miss my Texas friends like crazy.  I miss being me.  Being upbeat, motivated, energy-filled, happy, laughing.  Lately, I've been tired and cranky.  I told Danny my body desperately misses all the Vitamin D Texas supplied me with.  It's been gloomy, cloudy, and rainy here lately.  I just miss my old life.  My life that was filled with playdates, church activities, outings, and fun.  I know it will get better.  It has too.  But for now, I'm sulking.  I'm bored.  I'm lazy.  And I'm very much unmotivated.  Pray for me my friends.